Monday was the 2nd anniversary of Pope John Paul II's death. I personally consider JPII to be a great man. I remember when he was elected Pope, my grandmother and my father's family were very happy to have a Polish Pope. I was very little, 8 or 9 years old, and it was an exciting event.
Two years ago when he died, I watched a lot of the coverage of his suffering and his death. There was a lot of things on tv about his life, and I learned a lot about the man I didn't know or hadn't payed attention to. At the time, it had a big impact on me because it brought me closer to my former faith than I had been in years. At that time I almost ended back in the church, but for some reason at the time I just didn't do it.
At the time, though, all the info about JPII on tv and the net and the papers was very enlightening to me. I learned a great deal about what JPII did to help conquer Communism and the whole eastern block. I learned about how much JPII valued the youth of today and took great strides to connect with them. How he pursued healing with the Jews, and called for a new understanding between all christians and a more ecumenical attitude among christians. He was tireless in his job, and traveled more than any other Pope in history. My only regret was that I never got a chance to see him in person.
But mostly what I learned about JPII was that he was a kind, and gentle, and loving, and holy man. He was truly a servant of the Lord. I think that all JPII as a man, as a catholic Priest wanted was to stay in his home of Poland and work for his people to free them from the Soviet oppression. This was a man that lived through oppression first under the Nazis, then the Soviets. All he wanted was to teach his faith, let his people worship in freedom. Yet for years and years the Polish people were oppressed and not allowed that freedom, the freedom to freely worship. He worked hard to become a priest and build churches and teach people of Jesus. He had a profound faith in Jesus, despite what he went through in his life.
I think JPII suffered greatly for becoming a Pope. I know that sounds crazy, but in order to become Pope and do the job he did, he had to truly give of himself. He had to give up all that he was, all his dreams and ambitions, all of his plans and desires, and serve the world. Instead of doing his work, he did the work of the church, the work of Jesus Christ. Just like scripture said about God emptying himself and becoming man, in Jesus incarnate, and suffering for His people sacrificing Himself on the cross for man. JPII the man emptied himself and became John Paul II, servant of the Lord.
One of the saddest things I watched about JPII was his first trip back to Poland after becoming the Pope. He returned triumphantly, defying the Communist authorities, and the people came out to greet him and celebrate him. Yet he could not revel in it, or enjoy the turnout, or celebrate the demonstration of catholic faith. He was a sad man because he knew his place was not in his country with his people. He knew that he belonged to the world now. I believe God worked through the Pope to help crumble communism and free the Polish people so that they could worship Jesus. Despite this, JPII was a sad man because he could not be with his people and enjoy the unleashing of the yolk of oppression. He belonged to the world and emptied himself to do God's work.
When JPII left Poland after his first visit, he wept because he had to leave his people. Seeing that affected me profoundly, and still makes me want to cry when I think of it.
I often think that protestants believe that the Pope and the Church strive to keep themselves in power and make dumb laws and traditions to keep people from God. And I often think many Catholics believe this as well. After seeing JPII and his example of papacy, I can't help but vehemently deny this. Anyone who sees how JPII suffered, how he wept at leaving his people behind, would understand that's not true. For he gained nothing in this world of personal gain by becoming the Pope, yet he emptied himself for the gain of God. Just as Peter gave his life to found the church and do Jesus' work. The leader of the catholic church is not concerned with controlling people or telling them what to do, personal gain or wealth. He is only concerned with fullfilling Jesus' command to the Apostles.
The problem lies, when man is involved, and man is more concerned with fitting the church into him. We should all be like Pope John Paul II, and find ways to fit the church, Jesus, God, into us. To serve God, we must empty ourselves and make ourselves a vessel for Him. As Jesus says, we cannot serve 2 masters. When judgement comes, which master will you follow?
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Friday, March 16, 2007
It's Been A While
It's been a while since I've posted. Mostly because I'm lazy, party because I've been procrastinating like crazy lately. I'm getting to be really bad about procrastinating and it's gotta stop.
The season is quickly approaching. Things are starting to heat up, getting calls, getting things ready. In a month I'll be working. I wish I could say it's been a long winter, but it hasn't. It has gone by too fast. Everything since last August has gone by too fast. I've got to make an effort to try to slow things down and experience life more.
Terri and I have found a church, I hope. We attended the student parish at EMU last week, and then talked to Fr Francis at the church on Monday. It's a nice church, very friendly, and a nice cross section of the area. Plus it's a lot younger group of people, a lot more singing and a happier mass than what we got with my sister-in-law's church. Fr Francis is a nice guy, very open. Unfortunately he'll be leaving the church soon, and I can only hope the new priest will be as nice. The people at the church seem nice as well. Terri knew the woman who teaches adult catechism.
The conversation with the priest went well. Probably better than I expected. I am not sure that Terri will convert, but I hope she'll go to church with me. I'm going to try to drag her to catechism when it starts up in the fall. I could use some refreshment, and she should at least learn a bit more about the church. It also seems as though the path to getting our marriage blessed shouldn't be too hard. Terri will need an anullment, but after that the father said we should be able to do it easily. I am glad, I was disappointed that I didn't get to do in properly in a church.
I am really enjoying the reawakening of my catholic faith. I'm seeing things in new ways, understanding why things are done, discovering things about my faith I didn't know. I wasn't a very good ccd student as a child, that's for sure. I think a lot of it was rebellion from my mother. But she was stubborn and at least managed to drill some of it into me, enough that it stuck and led me back. Thank God for that, and thank God for her. She had her faults, but she certainly did her best for me.
And as I continue on this journey, I've come to see that my upbringing, especially my catholic upbringing, is the basis of who I am, my values, my concept of right and wrong, my belief in God, my conscience, etc. As much as I tried to deny that upbringing, my parents did something right, because that is such a part of me that I can't shake it and I'm learning to embrace it. And I'm positive that that upbringing is why God called me to my wife, and her kids, to help form a family and give those girls a chance in life, a chance at something they wouldn't have without me being here. And that goes for Terri, as well. I truly believe I was meant to be the force to put these girls together and make this family, and that I was able to do it because my childhood, the values my family and the church put in me. And despite the fact I wasn't perfect in it, I think I managed to help Terri create a family structure and give these kids a chance. I hope. And seeing this, realizing this, is very refreshing and illuminating.
I'm starting to scare myself, though, because I'm spending time watching catholic tv and listening to catholic radio. Not in a way that I can't stand the other things offered, but because I want to learn and understand more. It's refreshing, and exciting, and all of this is something I never in my wildest dreams would have thought could happen. If 16 year old Tom could see me now he'd have a heart attack. Too bad.
And I'm not sure if what I'm experiencing is what the evangelicals refer to as being "saved". I don't see bright lights, or angels, or want to speak in tongues. I do feel a great enlightenment in my soul, and excitement that leads me to want more. I don't feel suddenly changed. I don't feel suddenly a better person. I feel like it's the beginning of a great journey, one that I should have been on a while ago, and I'm glad to be on now. I feel like the beginning of understanding. I feel like I'm building faith on top of faith and cultivating my belief. I feel like I've found what I was looking for all those years I wasted trying to understand that evangelical brand of religion, fighting with that whole "saved" idea. I'm glad I realized that it's been the catholic church I've looked for all along, and I can't wait to see where this is going.
I must sound like a nutjob to someone who doesn't believe. I don't feel like a nutjob. I feel good. The last 15 years or so I've worked toward building my own life, my own way. I've willed my business into being, I've dragged myself out of anger and hatred and self pity because of my failure in college. I've found a family, created a home, purchased cars and tvs and couches and all the things an adult is supposed to have. I've got a house with a huge mortgage. I've got a business I pour myself in to. But all along, I've not been satisfied. All along, I've known that I couldn't complete myself, I couldn't be totally happy with these endeavors. Because there was no Faith, there was no God, and my soul was empty because of that. You can buy all the things you want, have all the success, reach goals and achievements you've dreamed of. But the Truth is, without God and Faith in your life, all that will mean nothing. And finding my way back to God and Faith has made all that other stuff pale in comparison. And the joy I have now cannot be found with those other things.
I guess if people really wanted to know why I've started this journey into faith, that right there bottom lines it. If you come to understand that, you win.
The season is quickly approaching. Things are starting to heat up, getting calls, getting things ready. In a month I'll be working. I wish I could say it's been a long winter, but it hasn't. It has gone by too fast. Everything since last August has gone by too fast. I've got to make an effort to try to slow things down and experience life more.
Terri and I have found a church, I hope. We attended the student parish at EMU last week, and then talked to Fr Francis at the church on Monday. It's a nice church, very friendly, and a nice cross section of the area. Plus it's a lot younger group of people, a lot more singing and a happier mass than what we got with my sister-in-law's church. Fr Francis is a nice guy, very open. Unfortunately he'll be leaving the church soon, and I can only hope the new priest will be as nice. The people at the church seem nice as well. Terri knew the woman who teaches adult catechism.
The conversation with the priest went well. Probably better than I expected. I am not sure that Terri will convert, but I hope she'll go to church with me. I'm going to try to drag her to catechism when it starts up in the fall. I could use some refreshment, and she should at least learn a bit more about the church. It also seems as though the path to getting our marriage blessed shouldn't be too hard. Terri will need an anullment, but after that the father said we should be able to do it easily. I am glad, I was disappointed that I didn't get to do in properly in a church.
I am really enjoying the reawakening of my catholic faith. I'm seeing things in new ways, understanding why things are done, discovering things about my faith I didn't know. I wasn't a very good ccd student as a child, that's for sure. I think a lot of it was rebellion from my mother. But she was stubborn and at least managed to drill some of it into me, enough that it stuck and led me back. Thank God for that, and thank God for her. She had her faults, but she certainly did her best for me.
And as I continue on this journey, I've come to see that my upbringing, especially my catholic upbringing, is the basis of who I am, my values, my concept of right and wrong, my belief in God, my conscience, etc. As much as I tried to deny that upbringing, my parents did something right, because that is such a part of me that I can't shake it and I'm learning to embrace it. And I'm positive that that upbringing is why God called me to my wife, and her kids, to help form a family and give those girls a chance in life, a chance at something they wouldn't have without me being here. And that goes for Terri, as well. I truly believe I was meant to be the force to put these girls together and make this family, and that I was able to do it because my childhood, the values my family and the church put in me. And despite the fact I wasn't perfect in it, I think I managed to help Terri create a family structure and give these kids a chance. I hope. And seeing this, realizing this, is very refreshing and illuminating.
I'm starting to scare myself, though, because I'm spending time watching catholic tv and listening to catholic radio. Not in a way that I can't stand the other things offered, but because I want to learn and understand more. It's refreshing, and exciting, and all of this is something I never in my wildest dreams would have thought could happen. If 16 year old Tom could see me now he'd have a heart attack. Too bad.
And I'm not sure if what I'm experiencing is what the evangelicals refer to as being "saved". I don't see bright lights, or angels, or want to speak in tongues. I do feel a great enlightenment in my soul, and excitement that leads me to want more. I don't feel suddenly changed. I don't feel suddenly a better person. I feel like it's the beginning of a great journey, one that I should have been on a while ago, and I'm glad to be on now. I feel like the beginning of understanding. I feel like I'm building faith on top of faith and cultivating my belief. I feel like I've found what I was looking for all those years I wasted trying to understand that evangelical brand of religion, fighting with that whole "saved" idea. I'm glad I realized that it's been the catholic church I've looked for all along, and I can't wait to see where this is going.
I must sound like a nutjob to someone who doesn't believe. I don't feel like a nutjob. I feel good. The last 15 years or so I've worked toward building my own life, my own way. I've willed my business into being, I've dragged myself out of anger and hatred and self pity because of my failure in college. I've found a family, created a home, purchased cars and tvs and couches and all the things an adult is supposed to have. I've got a house with a huge mortgage. I've got a business I pour myself in to. But all along, I've not been satisfied. All along, I've known that I couldn't complete myself, I couldn't be totally happy with these endeavors. Because there was no Faith, there was no God, and my soul was empty because of that. You can buy all the things you want, have all the success, reach goals and achievements you've dreamed of. But the Truth is, without God and Faith in your life, all that will mean nothing. And finding my way back to God and Faith has made all that other stuff pale in comparison. And the joy I have now cannot be found with those other things.
I guess if people really wanted to know why I've started this journey into faith, that right there bottom lines it. If you come to understand that, you win.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
New Stuff
It's been a while. Let's see, where to start.
My wife and I have gone a few times to my sister-in-law's chruch. Last Saturday and yesterday. I'm not sure that I'm going to keep going to that church, but it was nice to go with my wife's sister. I think she enjoyed it, and I did as well. It's a beautiful church inside and a nice congregation.
My wife would like us to go to a church she attended when she was younger. It's on EMU's campus and is primarily a campus ministry. Although she claims people from all over attend. It's a younger church, and there are lots of activities and continuing education and lots to do as well. Plus it appears to have a younger priest. It might be a better fit for my wife and I.
I have not faltered or waivered on sticking with the Catholic church. The more I refresh myself with the faith the more I'm sure of that. There is a lot I've forgotten, a lot I never understood, and things are clearer to me now. I've also had a lot of great conversations about religion with folks and it's fairly refreshing.
Had a bit of snow to do last week. Looks like things are wrapping up for the season though. It turned out to be an okay, but disappointing snow clearing season. If we'd had a bit more snow in December and January, things would have been better. I am eager for the spring to start, though.
I've been working out. Not enough, for sure. Took a few walks this week. I do love walking in the park in the winter. I wish I'd gone out more though. I'll have to make up for it this week.
Bought some Tiger tix today. I think tickets will be a hard find this season, with that World Series trip last year. They went on sale today, single seats, and I bought tickets for 6 games. Got some good ones too. April 4, where they'll be handing out the AL Champ Rings. The Cardinals, Mets, Indians on the 4th of July, Chicago White Sox and Yankees. I can't wait for the season to start.
I guess that's it for now. It's late, I've been up too long as it is. I'll have more to write soon, I hope.
My wife and I have gone a few times to my sister-in-law's chruch. Last Saturday and yesterday. I'm not sure that I'm going to keep going to that church, but it was nice to go with my wife's sister. I think she enjoyed it, and I did as well. It's a beautiful church inside and a nice congregation.
My wife would like us to go to a church she attended when she was younger. It's on EMU's campus and is primarily a campus ministry. Although she claims people from all over attend. It's a younger church, and there are lots of activities and continuing education and lots to do as well. Plus it appears to have a younger priest. It might be a better fit for my wife and I.
I have not faltered or waivered on sticking with the Catholic church. The more I refresh myself with the faith the more I'm sure of that. There is a lot I've forgotten, a lot I never understood, and things are clearer to me now. I've also had a lot of great conversations about religion with folks and it's fairly refreshing.
Had a bit of snow to do last week. Looks like things are wrapping up for the season though. It turned out to be an okay, but disappointing snow clearing season. If we'd had a bit more snow in December and January, things would have been better. I am eager for the spring to start, though.
I've been working out. Not enough, for sure. Took a few walks this week. I do love walking in the park in the winter. I wish I'd gone out more though. I'll have to make up for it this week.
Bought some Tiger tix today. I think tickets will be a hard find this season, with that World Series trip last year. They went on sale today, single seats, and I bought tickets for 6 games. Got some good ones too. April 4, where they'll be handing out the AL Champ Rings. The Cardinals, Mets, Indians on the 4th of July, Chicago White Sox and Yankees. I can't wait for the season to start.
I guess that's it for now. It's late, I've been up too long as it is. I'll have more to write soon, I hope.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
